Comfort TV

Now that Halloween is here, you may have had your fill of silly scary shows, and are ready for the real thing. If you prefer to celebrate the holiday with the most frightening, most despicable, most intimidating characters ever to appear on a classic TV show, here they are.

Aunt Fran

Family Affair

“Oh, come on,” you say. “There were no scary villains on Family Affair.” But let’s take a closer look at Aunt Fran. An adorable six year-old girl named Buffy is left in her care after losing her parents in a car accident. Aunt Fran drags the already traumatized child from Indiana to New York, and abandons her with a distant relative because her husband doesn’t like kids. She gives no thought to whether Buffy will be happy in her new home, or whether Bill has any clue on how to be a parent.

That would be heartless enough. But after Buffy is reunited with her siblings, and safely ensconced in Uncle Bill’s deluxe apartment in the sky, Fran returns. And, like the witch in Hansel & Gretel, she uses bribery and other nefarious means to lure the Davis children back into her evil clutches. Aunt Fran was TV’s worst parental figure until Walter White began cooking meth.

The Sleestaks

Land of the Lost

Ok, maybe they look a little silly now. But if you were the right age in 1974, the malevolent, reptilian Sleestaks creeped you out. The Marshall family’s adventures were played fairly straight in this Sid & Marty Krofft classic, so the threat from these bug-eyed monsters seemed genuine even if the violence remained well within Saturday morning TV standards. The reason you never saw more than three of them was that the Kroffts could only afford to make three costumes. And here’s some more Sleestak trivia – they were played by college basketball players, including future Detroit Pistons goon Bill Laimbeer.

Miles Drentell

Thirtysomething

Sometimes monsters look just like the rest of us. And for anyone who has ever worked in an office, a boss like Miles Drentell will inspire more nightmares than every slasher movie ever made. Masterfully played by David Clennon, the amoral, sociopath ad man would delight in pitting employees against each other for his own amusement, and manipulating the honest (if somewhat whiny) Michael Steadman (Ken Olin) into compromising his principles to keep his paycheck.

In one of the series’ most memorable two-part stories, Michael and his friend and coworker Eliot try to wrest control of the agency away from their evil boss. Their plan fails. But rather than fire the mutineers, Miles keeps them around so he can devise further tortures for his favorite victims.

Marv Hammerman

ABC Afterschool Special

There are two kinds of kids – the bullies and the bullied. Very few of us are fortunate enough to escape childhood without at least one traumatic altercation with someone who is bigger, stronger, or just meaner.

Stories about bullies are abundant in comfort TV sitcoms, from Lumpy Rutherford in Leave it to Beaver to Buddy Hinton on The Brady Bunch. But “Psst! Hammerman’s After You!” perfectly captured the impending dread over a confrontation with a sixth-grade executioner. Most of these stories end with the combatants finding a way to resolve their differences, but that cop-out would not do for an Afterschool Special.

Mrs. Peacock

The X-Files

The “Home” episode of The X-Files was notorious and with good reason. This was the first and only time this show was preceded by a viewer discretion warning, but it’s still inconceivable how this content got past network censors in 1996.

The story was twisted enough – Mulder and Scully are dispatched to Home, Pennsylvania, where a shallow grave has been discovered, containing a severely deformed infant. The investigation leads to a remote farmhouse inhabited by the sadistic, inbred Peacock brothers. But when the agents pull Mrs. Peacock out from under the bed, viewer garments were soiled across the nation. It’s a moment that ranks with the ending of Carrie as a jump out of your seat shock.

BOB

Twin Peaks

“He is BOB

Eager for fun

He wears a smile

Everybody run”

If an explanation is necessary, you’ve never watched Twin Peaks. Almost every scene of every episode was unsettling, particularly in the masterpiece-level first season. But in a handful of silent cameos, (taken together, they add up to less than one minute of screen time) BOB slithered into the nightmarish visions of several town residents, and scared the heck out of me as well. The horrific, savage murder of Maddy Ferguson by a grinning BOB may be the series’ most disturbing moment.

The Serial Killer

Alfred Hitchcock Presents

There were many memorable episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, but none more suspenseful than “An Unlocked Window” from 1965. The premise is familiar – a serial killer who targets live-in nurses is on the loose. That understandably frightens two live-in nurses tending to an elderly patient in (of course) an isolated mansion in (of course) a remote part of town. On a stormy night, the killer calls the home and tells the nurses he’s on his way. The two nurses do what they can to secure the house, but one of them later discovers a basement window that nobody locked. The slow-building tension reaches a crescendo rarely equaled even by Hitchcock’s classic film work.

Have you ever heard of The Code of Practice for Television Broadcasters? If not, you’ve probably seen its seal after the closing credits of TV shows that originally aired between 1952 and the late 1970s.

Of the many factors that separate shows from the Comfort TV era from the current television landscape, the Code of Practice may be the most consequential – and the most divisive.

In four single-spaced, two-column pages, this document provided a set of guidelines specifying what is acceptable content for a television series, and what is not.

According to its Preamble, “It is the responsibility of television to bear constantly in mind that the audience is primarily a home audience, and consequently television’s relationship to the viewers is that between guest and host.”

This is the first sign that these guidelines have long since passed into a bygone age. Would you welcome any of the Real Housewives, or the inhabitants of the Big Brother house, as guests in your home?

The Code continues: “Television, and all who participate in it, are jointly accountable to the American public for respect for the special needs of children, for community responsibility, for the advancement of education and culture…for decency and decorum in production, and for propriety in advertising.”

Antiquated? Perhaps. Words like ‘decorum’ and ‘propriety’ are no longer prevalent among television executives and producers, unless they are used as examples of what doesn’t draw ratings or sell enough Cialis.

The Preamble is followed by a list of subjects that must be approached with prudence. More quotes from the text:

“Profanity, obscenity, smut and vulgarity are forbidden”

“Attacks on religion and religious faiths are not allowed”

“In reference to physical or mental afflictions and deformities, special precautions must be taken to avoid ridiculing sufferers from similar ailments and offending them or members of their families.”

“The presentation of cruelty, greed and selfishness as worthy motivations is to be avoided”

“Criminality shall be presented as undesirable and unsympathetic. The condoning of crime and the treatment of the commission of crime in a frivolous, cynical or callous manner is unacceptable”

“The use of animals, both in the production of television programs and as a part of television program content, shall, at all times, be in conformity with the accepted standards of humane treatment.”

“Racial or nationality types shall not be shown on television in such a manner as to ridicule the race or nationality”

“News reporting should be factual, fair and without bias”

I’ll pause for a moment until you stop laughing at that last one.

What is being communicated is not primarily about censorship; unlike the Comics Code Authority, which famously rejected an issue of Spider-Man because it depicted drug use, the Code of Practice allowed a wide range of topics to be included in television dramas or comedies, including drugs. However, it required that behavior that is considered wrong, illegal or destructive be presented as such.

As the document later states in a section on children, “Crime, violence and sex are a part of the world they will be called upon to meet, and a certain amount of proper presentation of such is helpful in orienting the child to his social surroundings. However, violence and illicit sex shall not be presented in an attractive manner, nor to an extent such as will lead a child to believe they play a greater part in life than they do.”

Still, the question becomes: Are these restrictions that limit creativity? Or did the Code establish protections that helped television to maintain a suitable standard in programming content that would be preferred by the majority of its viewers?

It was inevitable that television would eventually grow beyond any concerns over being a well-behaved guest in a viewer’s home. The cable TV industry was not limited by whatever broadcast restrictions remained at the time of its introduction, and networks have been forced to keep up with edgier content. Many of the series aimed at mature viewers are now among the medium’s most honored and acclaimed.

But I am grateful that television, in its first three decades, strived for something beyond entertainment. Dozens of the shows created during this era remain among the finest ever produced. And if you have children you can let them watch any of them without worrying about inappropriate content.

If you would like to read the Code of Practice for Television Broadcasters in its entirety, you can do so here.

We all have them – TV shows we enjoy despite prevailing opinion and common sense telling us they are a waste of time.

I have amassed more than most people, which can be attributed either to an uncommonly forgiving nature or just questionable taste.

Take Tabitha, a failed spin-off that lasted 12 episodes and would not be considered a career highlight for anyone involved. I bought the DVDs and have watched every show more than once. I see the flaws, but there’s also a tangible Comfort TV component as well, partly due to its pedigree.

If you care enough about television to have found this blog, you probably know that Tabitha was inspired by Bewitched and follows the grownup adventures of Samantha and Darrin Stephens’ first-born.

A bit of SORAS-ing (soap opera rapid aging syndrome) was necessary to make the concept work. If Tabitha was “born” in 1966, on the “And Then There Were Three” episode of Bewitched that aired that year, she would have only been 11 in 1977, when this series debuted. That’s why Erin Murphy, the original Tabitha, could not reprise her role.

One of the series’ drawbacks was never deciding how beholden it wished to be to its TV roots. The opening credits sequence, featuring a Bewitched clip and the Stephens’ photo album, suggested a close connection. But it then rewrote the family history by changing Tabitha’s younger brother Adam into her high-strung, perpetually exasperated older brother.

The objective was to recreate the Sam and Darrin dynamic with siblings; Tabitha was the lovable witch trying to stay off the magic, and Adam the skittish mortal always beset by his sister’s powers. The strategy was doomed from the start, as viewers never felt the affection beneath the scolding – Adam just comes off as a pill.

Guest stars were dispatched to reinforce the Bewitchedconnection; Dr. Bombay makes a house call in “Tabitha’s Weighty Problem,” and instigates the only genuinely funny scene in the series. And the Kravitzes, both nearly unrecognizable from their Morning Glory Circle days, pay a visit in “Arrival of Nancy.” George Tobias (Abner), spotting a full gray beard, appears to have wandered in from Fiddler on the Roof.

Of course, had Samantha stopped by to see her “daughter” Tabitha would be in a lot more DVD collections. But when Elizabeth Montgomery closed that door she never looked back.

Aunt Minerva, a new meddling relative in the Endora mold (Agnes Moorehead died in 1974) was played by Karen Morrow. Once hailed as the heir to Ethel Merman for her incredible singing voice and charismatic stage presence, Morrow had the misfortune of showcasing her considerable talents in one Broadway flop after another. Eventually she moved to Hollywood where her bad luck continued. Her Minerva was the worst component in an ill-fated series.

So what’s to like about Tabitha?

It starts with Lisa Hartman, whose enthusiasm never wavered and who one could see making the character work with better material. The show’s writers, perhaps sensing they had a turkey on their hands, never missed a chance to put her in short skirts, cheerleader costumes, hot pants and towels to distract male viewers from the jokes that weren’t working.

Hartman was always beautiful and still is, but here, with feathered Farrah hair and before the nose job she never really needed, she makes an utterly charming Tabitha Stephens. This job also launched her singing career (that’s her voice you hear in the show’s catchy theme), which eventually blossomed with help from Knots Landing and husband Clint Black. Her 1982 “Letterock” album is first-class ‘80s pop rock.

As a lothario TV host at the local station where Tabitha works, Robert Urich also deserves praise for basically inventing Ron Burgundy 30 years before Will Ferrell. Urich had comedy chops to go with his leading man looks; they were better served on Soap, but like Hartman he emerged from the show unscathed and on to greater glories.

I really love the glimpses we get of his character’s apartment, with its huge square-shaped couch, chrome light fixtures, wet bar and waterbed with animal-print comforter. Watch for it in the pilot – this could be the quintessential swanky 1970s bachelor pad.

Finally, what still makes Tabitha watchable for me is how it brought the innocent sensibilities of a 1960s sitcom into the ‘70s, when the genre was uprooted by groundbreaking series like All in the Family, MASH and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Sometimes you want real-world issues and social progress in your comedy, and sometimes you just want to unwind with a reminder of gentler times. Tabitha falls short of the classic TV standard, but as Comfort TV there are moments when it works just fine.

Creating one iconic television character is rare enough; to accomplish that feat twice is nearly impossible. Once an actor is identified with a character that audiences have enjoyed for years, subsequent portrayals almost always suffer by comparison.

Some actors are content to repackage their signature role under different guises. Lucille Ball remained Lucy Ricardo even as her last name changed in The Lucy Show and Here’s Lucy. James Garner established his charismatic but cowardly con man persona in the western series Maverick, and then brought many of those same traits to Jim Rockford in The Rockford Files. And while Newhart enjoyed a long and successful run, the shadow cast by Bob Newhart’s previous series was so influential, it was acknowledged in the series' final episode to universal acclaim.

Which TV stars achieved the most successful two-fers? Here’s my top 12 in reverse order:

12. Jack Klugman

The comedy-drama combo platter can be particularly tough to pull off, but Jack Klugman followed a terrific portrayal of Oscar Madison in The Odd Couple with a long, Emmy-nominated run as a Los Angeles medical examiner in the crime procedural Quincy. Both characters were cranky but lovable.

11. Bill Daily

Yes, you can see a bumbling second banana through-line from Roger Healey (I Dream of Jeannie) to Howard Borden (The Bob Newhart Show), though Roger was more lecherous and Howard more clueless. But Bill Daily was always a reliable punch-line generator within each ensemble.

10. Robert Wagner

Robert Wagner was television’s Cary Grant, a dashing leading man equally credible in drama, comedy and action. He was rarely off TV from the 1960s through the 1990s, and one could argue that his best series, Switch, was also his most unheralded. But he makes the list by following a roguish turn in It Takes a Thief with a role that perfectly suited his debonair persona in Hart to Hart.

9. Gavin MacLeod

After seven years on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Gavin MacLeod’s transition to the critically reviled Love Boat was perceived as a backward step. But it also gave him more interesting things to do than sit at the same desk and trade insults with Ted Baxter and Sue Ann Nivens. As Captain Merrill Stubing he played everything from slapstick to romance to drama. No matter what you thought of Vicki, MacLeod played those first steps into full-time parenthood with more delicacy than you’d expect from such a breezy series.

8. Ron Howard

The transition out of child stardom is always fraught with peril, but Ron Howard made it look easy. Growing up on The Andy Griffith Show, where he held his own at age 6 amongst a stellar cast, Howard was top-billed in Happy Days then graciously ceded the spotlight to The Fonz. But it was the departure of Richie Cunningham that really made that series jump the shark.

7. Bob Denver

He is Gilligan to generations of TV fans, but prior to that three-hour tour he introduced a far more interesting character in a better series that never made the same splash in syndication. As Maynard G. Krebs on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, Denver played television’s first beatnik, putting a friendly face on an alternate lifestyle that was widely scorned in the 1950s.

6. Betty White

After winning an Emmy as the Happy (and slutty) Homemaker Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, the easy option would have been to cast Betty White as the equally decadent Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls. Instead, White played against her recently established type as the more sheltered Rose Nylund. Then she won the Emmy for that role, too.

5. Michael Landon

To praise Michael Landon as a successful two-show actor (three if you add Highway to Heaven to Bonanza and Little House on the Prairie) is to do him a disservice. Taken together, Landon was a familiar and welcome presence in 29 seasons of principled family entertainment (remember when TV used to strive for that?). He also wrote and directed several episodes of each of his shows – and when he did they were usually better than the ones left to the full-time professionals.

4. Bill Cosby

Barriers seemed to fall every time Bill Cosby appeared on television. In I Spy, he became the first African-American actor in a starring role on a dramatic series. Twenty years later, The Cosby Show felt like a new window into black culture that was different – and more authentic – than Good Times or The Jeffersons.

3. Robert Young

There weren’t many memorable second acts for the first generation of TV dads. Ozzie Nelson never found another role as interesting as himself, and Hugh Beaumont settled for guest spots on other shows after Leave it to Beaver was canceled. The exception is Robert Young, who followed up Father Knows Bestwith seven years as television’s favorite general practitioner, Marcus Welby. Welby personified a medical ideal – compassionate, knowledgeable, patient, and understanding – that seems sadly distant in this era of healthcare debacles and disappointments.

2. Larry Hagman

Typecasting? What typecasting? While I Dream of Jeannie aired daily in syndication across the country, Larry Hagman moved from Cocoa Beach to Dallas and created one of the most prominent television characters in the medium’s history. There is not even a trace of J.R. Ewing in Major Anthony Nelson, both fully-realized, classic TV characters that will be with us as long as there is television.

1. Mary Tyler Moore

Every list of the ten best situation comedies of all time should include The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. If it doesn’t, it was written by someone who is either 12 years old or not very smart. Both series were intelligent, sophisticated trailblazers that blended workplace and homefront humor with equal proficiency; both featured flawless ensemble casts, multiple classic installments, and produced more than 150 episodes with no discernible drop in quality from first to last.

And both shows starred Mary Tyler Moore. As a sophisticated suburban housewife or a career gal trying to make it on her own, Mary was never less than captivating. As Laura Petrie she launched a Capri pants fashion trend, and set pulses racing as one of TV’s sexiest wives and mothers – all while sleeping in a separate bed from her husband. As Mary Richards, a single 30-ish woman who didn’t need a man to complete her, Moore struck a blow for feminism without ever getting as strident as Marlo Thomas, or letting the message obscure the comedy. No one else on television has ever created two more indelible characters.

In 1990, The Brady Bunch was airing in daily national syndication across America. So who in their right mind would have ventured out to a theater back then, and purchased a ticket to watch actors perform line-by-line reenactments of the same Brady scripts they could hear at home for free?

Well, me, for one. When The Real Live Brady Bunch played Los Angeles, I made the 500 mile round trip six times – proving once again there’s no underestimating the enduring appeal of the story of a man named Brady.

The Real Live Brady Bunch was conceived by Chicago sisters Jill and Faith Soloway, who grew up on endless Brady reruns that provided a safe haven from the drama of their parents’ unhappy marriage. Their devotion continued through high school, college, and a post-graduate gravitation to the city’s local theater community.

When Faith became a musical director at Second City, she wrote a parody song based on Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit” that incorporated a Brady reference in the lyric “Go ask Alice.” Around the same time, the Soloways discussed their Brady love with Jill’s friend Becky Thyre, who astonished the siblings with a perfect imitation of Marcia, complete with hair flip.

From these meager inspirations, the sisters conceived The Real Live Brady Bunch, in which Brady Bunch scripts were performed verbatim by actors both too old – and in some cases too chunky – for their roles. They briefly considered taking the material into sketchier territory, with scenes of Marcia getting pregnant and Greg wondering if he was gay. But ultimately, they decided to play it straight and let the material stand or fall on its own.

Eight of the most popular episodes were chosen for the run, including “Adios, Johnny Bravo,” “Amateur Night” and “Juliet is the Sun.” In this pre-DVD era, Jill had to transcribe the scripts from reruns.

Local thrift shops provided appropriately garish 70s-era clothes for the cast. Becky Thyre played Marcia, of course, alongside future Saturday Night Live star Melanie Hutsell as Jan and Susan Messing as Cindy. The Brady boys were portrayed by Pat Towne (Greg), Ben Zook (Peter) and Mick Napier (Bobby). Mark Sutton and Kate Flannery played parents Mike and Carol, and Alice was uncannily incarnated by Mari Weiss, who drew standing ovations at nearly every performance.

The show opened in June of 1990 at the 110-seat Annoyance Theatre, a rundown loft on Broadway Ave. that specialized in subversive comedy/improv pieces. It played once a week on Tuesday nights, described by one local paper as the darkest of dark-night slots.

“We thought five people would show up,” said Jill of the show’s debut. But within a month, lines began forming for tickets by 11am, and hundreds of people were turned away every night. A second show was added, but the sell-outs continued. Astonished, Jill and Faith would go up to the roof of the theater to marvel at the length of the lines.

Critics – at least those who weren’t baffled by why anyone would want to do this in the first place – were generally supportive. The crowds, mostly 20-somethings like the Soloways who grew up with the series, kept coming back to watch each new episode. They giddily sang along with the theme song and shouted the catchphrases that had taken up permanent residence in their collective subconscious.

The Annoyance, which had built its reputation on more cutting-edge fare like Coed Prison Sluts and Manson: The Musical, suddenly had a hit on their hands, and it was one of the most wholesome shows in town. Sure, they may have thought this was another twisted take on traditional values, meant to expose the shallow culture of white-bread middle America etc. etc. – and some ticket-buyers were there to laugh at the Bradys and not with them. But many who returned each week did so out of genuine affection for a show they loved.

And then, what began as a quirky local curiosity went national. Rolling Stone magazine ran a rave review, followed by People magazine, Newsweek and The New York Times.

But for the Soloways, that wasn’t nearly as exciting as when Eve Plumb appeared in the Real Live Brady Bunch version of “Adios, Johnny Bravo.” Rather than reprise Jan, (“Just a little too Twilight Zone,” she thought), Plumb played agent Tammy Cutler, the role originated in the series by Claudia Jennings.

Though Plumb was often reluctant to embrace her Brady past, she enjoyed herself enough to appear with the cast again at a theater fundraiser on Chicago’s Navy Pier. In the audience – Florence Henderson, Barry Williams, Christopher Knight and Susan Olsen, all of whom joined Plumb on stage for a curtain call. Williams and Olsen even broke out a few dance moves from that episode’s performance of “You’ve Got to Be in Love to Love a Love Song.”

“It’s kind of strange to have warped a whole generation,” Olsen said. "We’re sorry.”

Sherwood Schwartz also attended a performance, where the 73-year old producer was greeted like a rock star. Schwartz’s blessing likely kept the Soloways out of court, as Paramount Television had by now heard of the play and was investigating copyright infringement. At his recommendation, the theatre paid only a token sum to acknowledge the copyright.

After 13 months of sell-outs, the Soloways took The Real Live Brady Bunch to New York. The show played for ten months at The Village Gate, a small theater in Greenwich Village that was an even bigger dump than the Annoyance.

Faced with casting a new Mike and Carol after the original stars chose to stay home, the Soloways proved to be expert talent scouts. Mike was played by Andy Richter, who would later join the writing team at Saturday Night Live and serve as Conan O’Brien’s sidekick. As Carol, they recruited Jane Lynch, a Chicago actress who subbed in the original production. Lynch is now a TV icon herself for her Emmy Award-winning portrayal of Glee’s Sue Sylvester.

The New York critics were not as kind to the play as their Chicago counterparts, though Michael Musto of TheVillage Voice was a fan. Still, audiences in the theater capital of the world were just as excited to spend some time with their TV friends.

A third production opened in Los Angeles at the Westwood Playhouse (now the David Geffen Playhouse), across from the UCLA campus. That run lasted eight months, and featured guest appearances from Davy Jones, who played himself in “Getting Davy Jones,” and Debi Storm, who reprised her role as wallflower-turned-knockout Molly Webber in the Real Live Brady Bunchversion of “My Fair Competition.”

A national tour followed, that was promoted by a cast performance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. What began with one hair flip in Chicago had by this time become another building block in the Brady Bunch’s ascent to pop culture immortality.

What is not often acknowledged about The Real Live Brady Bunch is the vital link it provided between the original series and the now familiar and affectionate send-ups of its characters and stories, most famously expressed in the two theatrical Brady Bunch films.

While the dialogue came word for word from the TV show, the presentation – expressions, vocal inflections, and body language – would undermine the context in hilarious ways.

Sometimes no accentuation was necessary. “You’re a pretty groovy girl” was a straight line in 1970, and a punch line by 1990. But the cast would also improv around the script; in “Fright Night,” there’s a scene where the kids hide in anticipation of scaring Alice with some haunted booby-traps, but their parents come home instead. “It’s Mom and Dad!” whispers Greg, to which Cindy, from her hiding place, silently mouths the word “Shit!” Susan Olsen probably liked that.

The Soloway sisters walked a tightrope between parody and affectionate nostalgia with perfect precision. Thrust into a national spotlight after igniting a new wave of Brady-mania, they continued to profess their love for the original show. “We pay tribute to the Bradys. We don’t disrespect them,” Jill said. “I think if you ask anybody, they wanted to be in the Brady Bunch,” added Faith. “They wanted to know them.”

Jill Soloway would later earn three Emmy nominations as a writer and producer of such series as Six Feet Under, Grey’s Anatomy and The United States of Tara. Faith continues to explore the fringes of musical theater, as writer, director and star of such productions as Miss Folk America.

But for Brady fans, they will always be best known as the sister act that brought The Brady Bunch from television to the stage. “We did it just to have fun and, all of a sudden, reporters were asking our views on the 70s and family dynamics and why the show was so popular,” Jill reflected. “And I think we were just these two Jewish girls wanting to be in a big Gentile family that had family meetings and potato sack races.”

This month, as I have done every December since the DVD era began, I have spent my evenings revisiting many of my favorite Christmas-themed television episodes. As often as I’ve watched them, there is still something new to be discovered in almost every viewing.

Case in point: A few nights ago I popped in “His Busiest Season,” from the first year of The Bob Newhart Show. The plot had Bob inviting his group therapy participants home for a Christmas party. And for the first time I realized that one of the guests was known to me from a very different Comfort TV role. How had I not recognized his distinctive voice before?

The actor’s name was King Moody, and that alone would leave a memorable impression. He left a permanent imprint on the collective childhoods of my generation for his portrayal of Ronald McDonald in commercials that aired throughout the 1970s and ‘80s, most famously in a series of spots that transported viewers to McDonaldland.

That episode was a reminder of how my classic TV memories are still intertwined with the commercials I watched back then, particularly during the holiday season. As fondly as I remember Mary Richards alone in the WJM newsroom on Christmas Eve, Kathy hearing the story of the angel’s sweater on Father Knows Best, and Samantha Stephens taking Will Robinson to visit Santa Claus, I feel the same warm glow of nostalgia from the Norelco ad where Santa sleds in on a razor, and the delicate ‘ding’ of champagne glasses in the Andre commercial.

And I remember McDonald’s during the holidays, on cold winter nights, when going there for dinner was a special treat. I always ordered a Quarter-Pounder and fries, with a hot chocolate that warmed the insides.

The McDonaldland commercials ran for more than a decade, and were popular enough to inspire a range of tie-in merchandise, from Happy Meal toys to a playset sold in toy stores. If you were a kid then you know all the characters – the Hamburglar, Mayor McCheese, Captain Crook, the French Fry Goblins, the Professor and the evil Grimace.

And just like a television series, the commercials had their own Christmas-themed editions featuring snow in McDonaldland and McDonald’s gift certificates, sold for 50 cents each or a book of 10 for five dollars (Ronald wasn’t big on discounts for volume purchases).

While Today Show weatherman Willard Scott is still the most famous man to don the yellow suit and red shoes of Ronald McDonald, it was King Moody who made the character a familiar and genial presence between Saturday morning cartoons. He did it by avoiding all of the clichés that have made most clowns so annoying and creepy. He spoke in a normal voice, didn’t trip over everything in front of him, and seemed like someone you could trust your kids with when they visited McDonaldland – as long as you weren’t overly sensitive about their calorie intake.

It’s not politically correct to like McDonald’s anymore, and I don’t get there very often these days myself. Plus, now that I live in the Southwest where it rarely gets very cold, even around the holidays, those winter trips for a hot chocolate with marshmallows are no longer necessary. But the Golden Arches will always be part of my childhood Christmas memories, thanks in part to King Moody.

Two quick trivia notes to close this out:

If you want to see Moody outside of his Ronald makeup, you can find him in several episodes of Get Smart, where he played Siegfried’s assistant, Starker.

King Moody’s son, William, is best known to wrestling fans as Paul Bearer, longtime manager of The Undertaker and a fellow who, like his dad’s altar-ego, clearly never met a cheeseburger he didn’t like.

Writers have one common trait: they disregard good reviews and obsess over criticism.

Entertainment Weekly gave The Charlie’s Angels Casebook a “B” in its review – not bad. But 13 years later the only line I remember was the one that disputed my claim that Farrah Fawcett was a sex symbol comparable to Marilyn Monroe in global impact.

I stand by that statement. And now that I have this blog I can finally plead my case that the two actresses had more in common than alliterative names.

One Name is Enough

Granted, this was easier in Farrah’s case, as that name did not gain any traction until she made it famous. We’ve had other Marilyns over the past 50 years – Manson, Munster, McCoo – but if there was a Family Feudquestion asking you to name a famous Marilyn, the number one answer is still indisputable.

An Iconic Image

Few movie images are more iconic than Marilyn Monroe standing over a subway grate in The Seven Year Itch, her white dress billowing upward from the draft. Farrah’s red swimsuit poster sold 20 million copies at a time when sales of one million were exceptional.

More than Looks

Their faces were so dazzling it took longer than it should to have recognized their talent. Long after achieving sex symbol status, Marilyn Monroe earned the positive reviews she received for Bus Stop and The Misfits. Farrah also appeared in several forgettable films before taking on such challenging roles as those in The Burning Bed and Extremities.

Immortalized by Warhol

Turbulent Private Lives

It’s not pleasant to think about how many unhappy and even abusive relationships both Farrah and Marilyn had to endure.

Teamwork

Farrah and Marilyn both appeared in star vehicles designed to show them off to best advantage. These projects failed because they had nothing else going for them. Their most memorable credits were those in which they complemented an equally talented ensemble. Farrah spent just one season on Charlie’s Angels but it remains her most indelible role. Marilyn Monroe’s two best films are Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (opposite Jane Russell) and the comedy classic Some Like it Hot with Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis.

The Cover of Playboy

Gone But Not Forgotten

Search “Marilyn Monroe merchandise” at amazon.com and you’ll get more than 700 results – key chains, t-shirts, posters, mugs, puzzles, tote bags, calendars. While Farrah’s image may not be as ubiquitous, new products bearing her likeness are still being made long after her 1970s heyday. Mattel recently unveiled a Barbie Classic Farrah Fawcett doll, inspired by her 1976 poster. And earlier this year there appeared a new die cast model of the white Mustang Cobra II she drove in Charlie’s Angels. It was so successful that a second version is forthcoming that will include a new Farrah figure.

Finally, both Marilyn Monroe and Farrah Fawcett left us far too soon. The work they leave behind is both a comfort and a reminder of how much we lost.

Fifty years is a long time. Not by geologic standards, perhaps, but certainly in the time we are blessed to have in this world. It’s a halfway point if we’re lucky (I hope so, as I will turn 50 this year), and it’s the time when we are ousted from the highly coveted 18-49 demographic. From here on, nobody cares where we go, what we watch or which brand of toothpaste we buy.

Some shows seem like they originate from another era – I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, and any family sitcom in which boys wore jackets and ties to school. But when you look back at some of the TV shows that debuted in 1964, many of them do not appear to be a half-century old. Some are still as entertaining as they were the first time they aired.

Let’s reminisce about Comfort TV debuts from the year the Beatles invaded America. Perhaps their undiminished quality and freshness will make some of my fellow future (and current) 50-somethings feel a little younger.

Bewitched

Take away the nose twitching, and the nightly foraging of the liquor cabinet, and Bewitched still paints a pretty accurate portrait of American middle-class life. Of course, it’s a little jarring to realize that Tabitha would now qualify for AARP membership. And if McMann & Tate is still on Madison Avenue, Darren and Larry are helping clients develop mobile apps and social media strategies, using technology that would certainly have seemed like magic 50 years ago.

Gilligan’s Island

As I acknowledged in an earlier Comfort TV piece, Gilligan’s Island has never been a personal favorite, but it remains a classic TV staple that has rarely left the air. It’s a series that always existed outside current events, which has helped it to age gracefully. Put your kids down in front of an episode and they’ll still be taken with the silly but good-natured escapades of the seven stranded castaways. And the “Ginger or Mary Ann?” debate rages on, though for me it’s always been Mary Ann.

Flipper

“They call him Flipper, faster than lightning

No one you see, is smarter than he.”

I haven’t watched an episode of Flipper in 30 years but I can still sing the theme song. At least my memory is working.

Peyton Place

This groundbreaking series has never been widely syndicated, but two DVD collections reveal a show that, give or take a few fashion statements, could find an audience today. Its stories of love, greed and power in one New England town are still being told in today’s daytime dramas. And just like any good soap, if you watch the first few episodes you’ll be hooked.

The Munsters/The Addams Family

How strange that TV’s most enduring horror-inspired sitcoms would debut in the same year. As with Gilligan’s Islandthese shows are not products of their era – both feature characters that predate the 1960s. But some episodes betray their age – like Herman reciting beatnik poetry in “Far Out Munsters,” or fitness guru Jack LaLanne helping The Addams Family’s Uncle Fester go on a diet.

Underdog

With Underdog we are reminded of how times have changed since 1964. Our canine hero, so memorably voiced by Wally Cox, was a humble shoeshine boy who became a superhero by taking a powerful vitamin pill. Due to subsequent pressure from “educators” and “child safety advocates,” reruns often aired with any scenes of Underdog taking the pill deleted. And see? It worked! No more drug abuse in America!

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

At last, a show that was very much a product of its time. The 1960s box-office success of James Bond inspired a wave of secret agent facsimiles, including this popular series starring the suave Robert Vaughn as Napoleon Solo. The twist was having Solo partner with a Russian (David McCallum) at the height of the Cold War, inspiring millions of teenage girls to ponder how Communism could be bad when Illya Kuryakin was so dreamy. And like many classic TV shows, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is about to be adapted into a new movie that will feature a hip-hop theme and copious jokes about flatulence, while ignoring everything that made the original a success.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

When Christmas rolls around this year, it will mark the 50^th airing of this evergreen holiday tradition. Are Rudolph and Clarice still together? Is Hermey still a dentist in this age of Obamacare? Have the denizens of the Island of Misfit Toys filed a class-action suit demanding they no longer be labeled by the derogatory term “misfit,” and must now be classified as “recreationally-challenged?” So many questions, for which we’ll never know the answers. Thank heaven for that.

I have always believed that classic television shows can serve a higher purpose beyond the entertainment derived from them. Like any work of art worthy of our respect, they have something to teach us as well.

During its five seasons, The Twilight Zone presented dozens of issue-oriented stories, including some effective but occasionally heavy-handed allegories about war, racism and intolerance. For me it was the subtler stories that struck a deeper chord, none more so than “A Stop at Willoughby.”

Fade up on Gart Williams, a media buyer in New York, sitting amongst other executives in a boardroom, anxiously tapping a pencil. He has just lost a major account, much to the chagrin of his oppressive boss: “This is a push-push-push business, Williams, all the way, all the time.”

Gart leaves the office on the verge of a nervous breakdown that’s been building for a long time. Headed home he falls asleep on the train, but when he wakes he finds himself on a 19^thcentury rail coach. The snowy November evening has been replaced by bright summer sunshine, as the train stops at an idyllic small town called Willoughby, circa 1888. Gart wakes up, and dismisses the episode as a dream.

At home his pressures do not subside. “I’m tired, Janie. Tired and sick,” he says to his unsympathetic wife, who coldly ponders how she could have married such an over-sensitive loser.

Back at work, the stress resumes unabated – angry clients, constantly ringing phones. The next night, he once again hears the conductor call “Next stop, Willoughby.” This time, he gets off the train.

This being The Twilight Zone, there’s an unexpected zing at the end. I’ll avoid spoilers for anyone who somehow missed this episode during the last 54 years.

In 25 minutes, “A Stop at Willoughby” paints a complete and perfectly rendered portrait of a man who spent the better part of his life doing something for which he had neither affinity nor desire. He sublimated his true self to pursue a lifestyle that was never important to him, to achieve prosperity that brought no satisfaction. Now he’s at the end of his tether and willing to grasp at any lifeline, no matter how fantastic.

I can’t prove it but I am certain that when this show first aired, someone living Gart Williams’ life for real decided to hop off their self-destructive carousel, and to start spending more time doing what he or she loved. Hopefully, after a half-century of syndication and videocassette and DVD releases, many others have been similarly inspired to recalibrate their priorities.

The demands on Gart Williams’ time were stifling to him – and this was in 1960! How much faster is life moving now? How many other electronic devices are commanding our attention, not only in the office but at home and in the car and even when we’re supposed to be with our friends and families?

If anything, the lesson of “A Stop at Willoughby” is needed now more than ever: We are more than our jobs, or at least we are supposed to be. And if the world insists on moving at a certain speed, we don’t always have to keep up with it. It’s a lesson we are never too young or too old to learn.

Unfortunately, many of us have to make compromises, if not for ourselves than for those we love. But we don’t have to be compromised. We can find the proper balance between work and family, one that results in peace of mind and a soul-deep contentment.

This blog is one of my stops at Willoughby. It’s something that will never pay my mortgage, but I do it because it makes me happy.

Find your Willoughby. Even if you can’t live there, make sure you visit often enough to take a piece of it with you wherever you go.

Comfort TV proudly lives in the past, so it’s rare when a current news headline will inspire a new piece. But then I read that the Captain & Tennille are headed for divorce court after nearly 40 years of marriage.

The two most prominent reactions to this unexpected development were as follows:

1. Who? (This was from the under-30 crowd)

2. I guess love “won’t” keep them together (or a similar variation on one of their song titles – see also “I guess he won’t be doing that to her one more time.”)

My first thought was, “I wonder who gets custody of the bionic watermelon.”

Confused? You won’t be if you were among those who watched the couple’s short-lived variety series. If you missed it, there’s a “best of” DVD from R2 Entertainment featuring 11 of the 20 episodes that aired on ABC from 1976-1977.

Is it worth a look? Yes, if you have fond memories of ‘70s TV, when one hit song was enough to get you your own show. New variety extravaganzas popped up every season, ranging from the still entertaining (Donny & Marie, Sonny & Cher) to classic kitsch (Tony Orlando & Dawn, Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis, Jr.) to "What were they thinking?" (Pink Lady & Jeff, The Starland Vocal Band).

Within that groovy to gross scale, the Captain & Tennille fit squarely in the middle of the road, much like their music catalog. If you’re unsure about whether to revisit the show to see Daryl Dragon and Toni Tennille in happier times, here are five highlights and five lowlights from the R2 set.

Highlight: 1970s TV Casts

These episodes feature guest appearances from Charlie’s three original Angels, Gabe Kaplan and the Welcome Back Kotter Sweathogs, the Happy Days gang (including Pinky Tuscadero!) and the cast of What’s Happening!

Lowlight: Erin Moran sings “My Guy”

While it’s fun to see so many classic TV casts outside their familiar roles, no one needed to hear Joanie “Shortcake” Cunningham drone her way through a Motown classic.

Highlight: “Love Will Keep Us Together”

The duo’s first hit, written by Neil Sedaka, stayed at #1 for four weeks in 1975, and still sounds great.

Lowlight: The Bionic Watermelon

The show’s comedy bits have not aged well. None was more groan-inducing than this tired takeoff on The Six Million Dollar Man, about a watermelon that falls off a truck, is put back together by scientists, and now apprehends bank robbers by hurling itself at their heads.

Highlight: The Musical Guests

The R2 set includes performances from The Sylvers, Chaka Khan, Natalie Cole, Bread, Dionne Warwick, Leo Sayer, and Heart with a live version of “Dreamboat Annie.”

Lowlight: The Captain’s Hat Jokes

Besides his prodigious keyboard skills, the only thing interesting about Daryl Dragon was his trademark hat. This inspired several sets of purposely lame hat jokes, which were the show’s way of acknowledging that Dragon had the personality of an eggplant.

Sample: What goes on your head and hit a lot of home runs? Babe Hat.

Highlight: Toni Sings with her Sisters

From the Everly Brothers to the Beach Boys to the BeeGees, there’s always something special about close musical harmonies within families. Several episodes feature performances from Toni and sisters Louisa and Melissa, including a wonderful salute to classic girl groups from The Shirelles to The Shangri-Las.

Lowlight: Toni Sings with Leonard Nimoy

Technically this isn’t a duet – Toni and Daryl play piano while Nimoy recites one of his poems. Between stanzas, Toni sings a few lines from Elton John’s “Your Song.” Surprisingly, this isn’t one of the comedy segments.

Highlight: The Closing Song

Most variety shows featured a musical signoff, inspired by Carol Burnett’s famous “I’m so glad we had this time together…” The Captain & Tennille closed each show with “We Never Really Say Goodbye,” a lovely ballad as appealing as any of their charted songs.

Lowlight: Run! Giant Mutant Muskrats!

The DVD set includes not one but two performances of the duo’s most unlikely hit, “Muskrat Love.” In one, Toni peers into a gingerbread house that is home to Muskrat Susie and Muskrat Sam. Faster than you can say, “Call the Orkin man!” Toni and Daryl are inside the rodents’ residence, where they have a tea party and dance with their furry new friends. The 1970s were indeed a strange and wondrous time.

And that’s just a sample of the delights on this 3-DVD set, now available on amazon.com for…7 dollars and 6 cents. That’s less than ten cents per hat joke.

You hear a lot about the groundbreaking work now being done on television, yet film is still considered a much higher art form and probably always will be. If you devote your life to watching movies, you are a cinephile. If you spend the same amount of time watching TV, you are a couch potato.

So as we approach this year’s Academy Awards, arguably the highest honor in the motion picture industry, I thought it might be interesting to look at how many Oscar winners also left their mark on the Comfort TV era.

If you remember these actors from their TV shows more than their movies, you’re my kinda people.

Art Carney

He won his Oscar for Harry and Tonto, but Art Carney will always be best remembered as Ed Norton on The Honeymooners.

Sally Field

Before she was Norma Rae, she was Gidget and The Flying Nun. And it was another TV role, as a girl with multiple personalities in Sybil, that helped to launch her movie career at a time when that transition was less common.

Michael Douglas

The son of Spartacus is a two-time Oscar winner (for acting in Wall Street and co-producing One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest). His first role of note was in The Streets of San Francisco, in which he costarred with Karl Malden, another Academy Award recipient.

Shirley Booth

Where most of the actors on this list started in TV and “graduated” to movies, Shirley Booth won an Oscar in 1952 (for Come Back, Little Sheba) nearly ten years before playing the title role in the popular sitcom Hazel.

Tom Hanks

I don’t care how many great movies he makes, I still think he peaked with Bosom Buddies, plus an honorable mention for his stellar work as Alex’s alcoholic Uncle Ned on Family Ties.

Patty Duke

One of the most gifted actresses of the 1960s, whether playing Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker or identical cousins on her classic situation comedy.

Robin Williams

If Mork can win an Oscar, there’s still hope for Potsie.

Jodie Foster

She is the gold standard for aging gracefully in a business that is rarely kind to child stars. Two Oscar wins, but also a slew of classic TV credits including My Three Sons, The Partridge Family, Nanny and the Professor, Gunsmoke and The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.

Ernest Borgnine

His amazing career spanned more than 60 years, but the first credit that appears on an IMDB search of his name is McHale’s Navy, an underrated military sitcom with more than 130 episodes. But his heartbreaking Oscar-winning performance in Martyis a must-see as well.

Cher

Cher usually ends up playing Cher regardless of the movie role, so I’d rather just watch her without the character trappings, singing next to Sonny.

Morgan Freeman

He’s now one of our elder statesmen of respected actors, but 40 years ago he was one of two Oscar winners in the cast of PBS’s The Electric Company. The other, Rita Moreno, recently presented Freeman with a Life Achievement Award from the Screen Actor’s Guild.

Goldie Hawn

Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In would never have been the same without Goldie Hawn’s infectious giggle, or her complete inability to correctly read a cue card (of course, the writers often switched out the lines so she’d look even more adorably frazzled). Hawn earned Best Supporting Actress honors in 1969 for Cactus Flower.

Jack Albertson

You’d have to be a cinephile to know the film featuring Jack Albertson’s Oscar-winning performance, but after seeing his name you may already be singing the theme to Chico and the Man. For the record, the movie was 1968’s The Subject Was Roses.

Cloris Leachman

As Phyllis Lindstrom on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and the spinoff series Phyllis, Cloris Leachman remains beloved by a generation of classic TV fans, many of whom may never have seen her Oscar-winning work in The Last Picture Show.

Martin Landau

In 1994, Martin Landau capped a remarkable career with an Academy Award for his portrayal of Bela Lugosi in Tim Burton’s delightful Ed Wood. Twenty-five years earlier he received the last of 3 Emmy nominations for his stellar work at Rollin Hand on Mission: Impossible.

Shirley Jones

Mrs. Partridge won an Oscar in 1961 for playing a hooker in Elmer Gantry. The Academy always loves it when actors play against type.

George Clooney

He has 2 Academy Awards and is arguably Hollywood’s top leading man, but some of us remember when Clooney sported a mullet on The Facts of Life. And when he sported a mullet on Roseanne. And how both were still less embarrassing than Batman and Robin.

Donna Reed

After It’s a Wonderful Life and her Oscar-winning performance in From Here to Eternity, Donna Reed starred in one of TV’s smartest and kindest family situation comedies. The Donna Reed Show ran for 8 years and was a Nick at Nite staple for more than a decade (back when the Nick lineup featured only good shows).

Denzel Washington

If you had asked me which cast member amongst the large ensemble on St. Elsewhere had the star quality to get to the next level, I’d have bet on Cynthia Sikes. Oh, well.

Marissa Tomei

Before she was Joe Pesci’s girlfriend in My Cousin Vinny, she was Denise Huxtable’s college roommate in A Different World.

Kevin Spacey

After 2 Academy Awards (The Usual Suspects, American Beauty), Spacey’s TV work may no longer make the highlight reel for his stellar career, but many of us haven’t forgotten the chilling first impression he made as the despicable Mel Profitt on Wiseguy.

Helen Hunt

She won the Oscar for As Good as it Gets, and several Emmys for Mad About You. But Helen Hunt’s classic TV roots date back to guest roles on Ark II, The Bionic Woman, Family and Knots Landing, as well as three short-lived series: The Swiss Family Robinson, The Fitzpatricks and It Takes Two.

I’ve written before about the communal nature of Comfort TV, and how it is something we share no matter where we lived. But some classic TV series and characters were strictly regional sensations – Wallace and Ladmo, Garfield Goose, The Magic Garden. They sustain a deep nostalgic appeal for those who grew up with them, but are virtually unknown to the rest of the country.

Which brings me to Bozo’s Circus. The series was a television phenomenon in Chicago, where I grew up. But at one time there were Bozo shows on more than 180 local TV stations, all sharing the same basic format but with dozens of different actors playing the world’s most famous clown.

It was, at the time, an unprecedented franchising model that proved remarkably successful. And it was conceived by Larry Harmon, the first man to don the character’s red wig and size 83AAA shoes.

Bozo and Larry Harmon

I interviewed Mr. Harmon in 1996. Even over the telephone it was clear that his nearly 40-year connection to Bozo had lost none of its enthusiasm. He told me how he first became aware of the character from a series of children’s records released by Capitol in the 1940s. They were so successful that Capitol needed someone to play Bozo at personal appearances. Harmon auditioned and won the part, then bought the rights to the character in 1954.

“I didn’t have two nickels to rub together, but I borrowed a million dollars and did it,” he recalled.

After producing more than 150 Bozo cartoons, he launched the first live-action Bozo show in 1956. The Chicago version debuted on WGN in 1959, and was renamed Bozo’s Circus in 1961. The remarkable Bob Bell played Bozo from the first live-action episode until he retired from the role in 1984.

If you didn’t live in Chicago in the 1960s and ‘70s, it’s hard to explain the unlikely but astounding popularity of this low-budget one-hour show, which became as much a part of the city’s cultural fabric as the Sears Tower and baseball at Wrigley Field.

Tickets for the studio audience, which held only 200 people, were harder to get than Bulls playoff seats in the Michael Jordan era. Newly married couples applied for tickets before their honeymoon, so their not-yet-born children might have a chance to see the show when they were 7 or 8 years old. By 1980, the waiting list had reached 11 years, and was frozen for the next decade. When the moratorium was lifted in 1990, WGN opened a 900-number Bozo ticket hotline for five hours. More than 25 million calls poured in.

So what was all the fuss about? Looking back it’s rather difficult to explain. Bozo’s Circus offered songs, comedy skits, games and a guest circus act, usually acrobats or prancing dogs. Each episode ended with the audience joining the cast in the Grand March, a parade that doubled as a fast way to clear the studio. It looks pretty cheesy now, but I still remember how I rarely missed an episode.

I had a ringside seat for Bozo-mania, as my parents owned the company that manufactured a home version of the Grand Prize Game, one of the show’s most popular features. That connection got me some pretty big perks under the big top, including a chance to meet the show’s beloved ringmaster, Ned Locke, and Roy Brown, who played Bozo’s sidekick, Cookie the cook.

It did not, however, secure my financial future. In fact, my folks nearly went

bankrupt and had to fold the business. For whatever reason, the appeal of Bozo didn’t always translate well outside of the show itself.

Bozo’s Circus ended its Chicago run in 2001, after more than 40 years on the air. Today’s kids probably wouldn’t have a clue about a character who was once a hotter ticket than Springsteen.

Looking back now I’m still trying to find a way to explain how the series achieved such profound audience loyalty and affection. Perhaps, in this case, it’s best not to look too close, lest we start to see through the magic. For me the best explanation was given by a 6 year-old boy, who attended a personal appearance on the occasion of Bozo’s 50^th anniversary in show business.

“I love you, Bozo!” he shouted at his favorite clown.

“Why do you love Bozo?” asked his mother.

“Bozo is Bozo,” he said.

Lately I’ve been revisiting Star Trek: Enterprise on Blu-ray.

I hadn’t planned to write about it here because the series aired from 2001 to 2005, which puts it well outside the Comfort TV era. But it’s also a continuation of the Star Trek saga that began in 1966 and remained a television staple for the next 4 decades. So I think it qualifies.

Plus, we haven’t had any new Trek stories for almost a decade, hence my nostalgia for the final (or first, depending on how you look at it) voyages of the Enterprise. And no, I haven’t forgotten about J.J. Abrams – I just think his vision for Star Trek is as authentic as a rerun of Far Out Space Nuts.

Some Trek fans expect this piece to be filed under the “Terrible Shows I Like” category. But I have always believed that Star Trek: Enterprise did not deserve its rocky reputation.

Sure, it made mistakes. So did every other Trek incarnation. Have you watched some of those third season episodes of the original series lately? Deep Space Nine had a rough start, and Voyager gave us an episode where two bridge officers were turned into salamanders.

Enterprise was a good idea with bad timing. Setting the series at the beginning of earth’s interstellar exploration restored the wonder in much of what had become routine by the time of Next Generation. Jonathan Archer’s starship was slower, less well armed and less comfortable, and there was no prime directive or handy list of rules for what to do when meeting new civilizations. Archer's crew were the first humans in deep space and everything was new and exciting – I always loved how the Captain would drop out of warp for days to study a comet or a nebula that Picard would have flown by without a second thought.

But after 21 seasons of other Trek shows and new movies still in theaters, even the most ardent Trekkers had become complacent and began taking the franchise for granted. There were other factors in its demise, but the passage of time makes it easier to appreciate Enterprise for what it was rather than where it fell short. Television is simply a better place when Star Trek is a part of it.

Why should you give Captain Archer’s crew another look? If you’re not one of those continuity wonks whining about how canon was changing with every episode, here are just some of the reasons why Enterprise is better than you may remember.

The Title Sequence

Hey, where are you going? I know the song choice was…curious, but the montage tracing the history of exploration from ancient mariners to warp-capable ships was very well crafted, a mix of history and fantasy that established the context for the stories to follow.

“Carbon Creek”

One of the series’ most entertaining (and amusing) episodes begins with T’Pol telling Archer and Commander Tucker about the first Vulcans to land on earth – not the famous first contact that was in the history books, but one that took place in the 1950s. This season 2 show is worth seeing just to hear someone finally acknowledge the haircut similarity between Vulcans and The Three Stooges’ Moe Howard.

Doctor Phlox

Phlox, wonderfully played by John Billingsley, ranks near the top of the pantheon among memorable Star Trek physicians, alongside the cantankerous Bones McCoy and the even more cantankerous holographic Doctor on Voyager. Quirky and soft-spoken, he always seemed to be studying his human crewmates with a mix of incredulity and admiration, expressed most clearly in the classic season 1 episode “Dear Doctor.” Speaking of which….

“Dear Doctor”

Many of the best Star Trek episodes are built around a moral conundrum. The buck always stops with a Captain forced to make a life or death decision with profound ethical repercussions. Think “City of the Edge of Forever,” or “Measure of a Man,” or “Tuvix.” To this list we can add “Dear Doctor,” in which the Enterprise visits a planet with two dominant human species, one of which is perishing from a virus that will lead to its extinction. Phlox develops a cure, but advises Captain Archer not to share it. His reason and Archer’s ultimate decision continue to split fandom nearly a decade after the episode first aired.

More Vulcan Backstory

The Vulcans and their logic-driven culture were one of Gene Roddenberry’s most fascinating creations. Enterprise was the first Trek series to significantly expand our knowledge of their history and culture, adding shades to them – some unexpectedly sinister – not seen since Leonard Nimoy introduced Spock. “The Andorian Incident” is a good place to start, followed by the aforementioned “Carbon Creek,” “Stigma” and a trilogy of extraordinary season 4 episodes set on the Vulcan homeworld.

The Mirror Episodes

“In a Mirror, Darkly, Pts. 1 & 2” revisit the parallel universe first seen in the original series episode “Mirror, Mirror.” For the non-nerds among you, this is a place where the characters we’ve come to know exist as evil versions of themselves. The cast clearly relished a chance to chew on the scenery with various degrees of sadistic behavior – Linda Park in particular is a revelation as a ruthlessly ambitious (and sexy) Hoshi Sato.

The Should-Have-Been Series Finale

Enterprise’s fourth season was as consistently strong as any season of any other Star Trek series. It was also a refreshing change from the relentlessly grim, 9/11-themed Xindi story arc that comprised the entirety of season 3. The penultimate season 4 story, told over two episodes (“Demons” and “Terra Prime”) was a memorable sci-fi allegory on isolationism and xenophobia, both briskly debated in the wake of 9/11 and the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

These episodes should have been the series finale – at least then, if Enterprise had to end too soon, it would have wrapped on a high note. But regrettably there was one more show, that was so reviled by cast and fans alike that it has been removed from canon by universal consensus.

Yes, it’s a dreadful episode – but listening to some critics you’d think they were all that bad. If you miss Star Trek now as much as I do, give Enterprise another chance. All it takes is a little faith of the heart.

Most of the places you see on TV shows are located on studio lots. But there are many others scattered throughout southern California that you could see any time, though you might get in trouble knocking on the door. This has become a hobby of mine (visiting, not trespassing), and during my several yearly trips to Los Angeles I’ll usually schedule at least an hour for one drive-by of a landmark that is part of our television heritage.

Here are some of my favorites, as well as one that I finally plan to cross off my to-do list later this year.

The Brady Bunch House

This was the first classic TV site I tracked down. Though more than two decades have passed since my first visit, I can still recall what a strange sensation it was to actually stand before a home that I only knew as part of a fictional world. I’ve been back several times since, and every time, for the briefest of moments, it still feels like stepping into TV land. The house doesn’t look the same as it did on the series – there’s a wrought-iron fence surrounding the front to keep weirdos like me at a safe distance, and the upstairs window you see on the show was never actually there. But the shape of the Studio City dwelling, especially when framed by the mountains in the background as it often was on The Brady Bunch, remains unmistakable.

If you’d like to check it out, head west on Ventura Blvd. to Tujunga Ave., turn left and then make a right on Dilling St. You’ll know it when you see it.

Townsend Investigations

I wonder how many people who drive by 189 N. Robertson in Beverly Hills even realize they’ve just passed the office where Charlie Townsend summoned his Angels. The two-story red brick edifice was shown in almost every episode of Charlie’s Angels, though you’ll never seen any of the Angels (or even Bosley) entering or exiting the building. Whenever I’m doing research at the nearby Margaret Herrick Library, I always take Robertson back to Wilshire, hoping to see Jill Munroe’s Cobra parked out front.

Walton’s Mountain

Last year I was enjoying a deep-dish pizza at actor Joe Mantegna’s Taste of Chicago restaurant. I was seated at the window facing south, when my friend asked, “See anything interesting?” I took another look at the Rite-Aid across the street and told him I didn’t. Then he started whistling the Waltons theme, and suddenly it dawned on me – the mountain behind the condos and shopping centers was Walton’s Mountain. Perhaps it took longer to register because one doesn’t expect a peak associated with Depression-era Virginia to be looming majestically over Burbank.

Squad 51

I used to love watching Emergency on Saturday nights. Paramedics John Gage and Roy DeSoto reported for work at Squad 51, a real fire station (actually Station 127) located in Carson, California. The site has since honored its TV connection with a plaque dedicated to Emergency writer and producer Robert A Cinader, who also created the series. You’ll find the station at 2049 E. 223^rd St., just off the San Diego Freeway.

Fantasy Island

No need to charter a plane to a remote island to see where Mr. Roarke and Tattoo greeted their guests. The building where Tattoo rang the bell at the start of each episode is the Queen Anne Cottage at the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden. It’s in the city of Arcadia – take the 210 Freeway to the Baldwin St. exit and follow the signs. Even without the classic TV connection, it’s a beautiful place to spend a day.

The Batcave

Near the beginning of almost every Batman episode, you’ll see the Batmobile speed through a hidden passageway before making the 14-mile drive to Gotham City. What you’re looking at is the Bronson Caves in LA’s Griffith Park. This is one of those instances where the reality of the location falls far short of its fictional fame. Once you’ve made the quarter-mile hike from the parking lot on Canyon Drive, you’ll a rather undistinguished cave entrance, basically a mouse hole-shaped opening leading into a short tunnel. The surrounding scenery is nice, though.

General Hospital

For more than 20 years, General Hospital opened with a shot of an ambulance speeding toward a stately white building. This one is really easy to find – it’s the old Los Angeles County General Hospital, now a wellness center of the Los Angeles County-University of Southern California Medical Center. Get on the 10 Freeway and look to your right, just before the 10 turns into the 101. The address is 1200 N. State St.

The Hooterville Cannonball and Water Tower

I haven’t visited these yet, as they are located in the Railtown 1897 State Historic Park in Jamestown, California. That’s a 6-hour drive from Los Angeles and almost 3 hours from San Francisco. But I love Petticoat Junction. It’s everything that Comfort TV is supposed to be – simpler times, kinder characters, and optimistic, uplifting messages.So this fall I plan to climb aboard that little train, and think about a time and place where life was like that, even if it never really existed.

Television’s first executives and programmers had high aspirations for the medium. They believed this new technology could be used to inform, enlighten, and raise the standards of American culture. But then TV networks found they got higher ratings with wrestling than the New York Philharmonic, and all those hopes and dreams perished.

Still, every so often somebody tries to do something right: Omnibus, Sesame Street, Life is Worth Living, and yes, though they earned their share of derision then and now, the ABC Afterschool Specials.

If you grew up with them as I did, they may seem like relics of the 1970s and early ‘80s; but the network kept making them long after you stopped watching. The first show aired in 1972; the last one in 1997! That means all those troubled teens from season 1 were over 40 by the time school finally let out forever.

I have no memory of any of them after 1982 or so. And my guess is that the kids and teens of the 1990s don’t share the episodes of that time as a generational memory – by then there were already dozens of cable stations, and issue-driven stories for younger people were no longer a novelty.

That’s what made the first shows so revelatory– no one else in the 1970s was aiming this type of content directly at teenagers at an hour they were more likely to be watching TV. Just as Phil Donahue was bringing family skeletons out of the closet – alcoholism, drug use, teen pregnancy – and discussing them on his daily talk show, the Afterschool Specials turned them into earnest 45-minute dramas that won dozens of Daytime Emmys.

Of course, not every Special featured such heavy subjects – others looked at how our times were changing. Remember Jodie Foster in “Rookie of the Year,” about a girl who wanted to play for a boy’s little league team?

Here are my picks for the 10 most memorable Afterschool Specials (which isn’t the same as the 10 best, as you’ll discover from the reviews). Some are among the 24 shows released on DVD. The sets are long out of print but worth seeking out – the nostalgic Trapper Keeper-style cases were a particularly inspired touch.

Sara’s Summer of the Swans

It’s my blog so I get to start with my favorite. Based on the book by prolific, award-winning novelist Betsy Byars, “Sara’s Summer of the Swans” explores the challenges of growing up with a special needs sibling. But it’s really also about learning to let other people into your life, even if you’re not sure they’ll like it there. That message resonated with me when it first aired, and it’s one I still need to hear from time to time. This is a simple, heartfelt story that exemplifies how enriching these shows can be at their best. And for classic TV fans it has two ex-Bradys (Eve Plumb and Christopher Knight) in supporting roles.

Psst! Hammerman’s After You

The two preeminent school bully dramas of my generation are this Afterschool Special and the 1980 film My Bodyguard. What makes “Hammerman” a little more interesting is that the victim, nicknamed Mouse, is not completely blameless for his plight; in fact, he was pretty much asking for it.

Me and Dad’s New Wife

Adjustment to divorce and stepparents was a frequent Afterschool topic. I thought it was handled better in other installments, such as “The Bridge of Adam Rush” and “A Family of Strangers,” but more people seem to remember “Me and Dad’s New Wife.” This may be due to a cast regularly featured on Tiger Beat covers – Kristy McNichol, Lance Kerwin and Leif Garrett.

It Must Be Love (Cause I Feel so Dumb!)

Anyone who has ever suffered though unrequited love will identify with poor Eric, a short, awkward 13 year-old who’s got it bad for cheerleader ‘it’ girl Lisa. We’ve all been there, kid. The ending is a bit of a cop-out, though.

Schoolboy Father

The young people on these shows often take on adult responsibilities faster than their peers, either from their own transgressions or someone else’s. Such trials also inspired “Francesca Baby,” the heartbreaking “A Matter of Time” and the unfortunately titled “Daddy, I’m Their Mama Now.” But “Schoolboy Father” became the quintessential treatment, if not the quintessential Afterschool Special. Rob Lowe plays the title character, opposite Dana Plato and Nancy McKeon.

It Isn’t Easy Being a Teenage Millionaire

Usually you wouldn’t want to trade places with the characters on these shows; here’s the exception. Melissa, 14, wins the lottery, but discovers that sudden wealth isn’t the answer to every problem. And before you ask, yes, minors can legally win lotteries if they receive the ticket as a gift.

Dear Lovey Hart: I Am Desperate

This is another of my favorites, partly because there’s more humor than is typically found in these shows, and party because of Susan Lawrence, an appealing young actress who should have graduated to bigger and better roles (if you know her at all, it’s from Dr. Shrinker). Here, she plays a student who writes an ill-fated advice column for her high school paper.

Stoned

Stories of drug and alcohol abuse among teens are synonymous with Afterschool Specials, but surprisingly the series didn’t broach either topic until its eighth season. One year later, Stoned starred Scott Baio as a popular teen jock who tries marijuana and graduates to cocaine and LSD. Reefer Madness overtones aside, Chachi can act and helps keep the story grounded. And this is still better than “Desperate Lives,” in which Helen Hunt cooks up some PCP in her high school chemistry lab and jumps out a high-rise window.

Which Mother is Mine?

Melissa Sue Anderson plays Alex, a popular teen living in a happy home with her adoptive parents – yeah, you know that’s not going to last. Sure enough, Alex’s biological mother has finally kicked her booze problem and sues for full custody. At first you’ll hate her as much as Alex does, but the observant script is fair and honest in portraying all sides of a difficult issue.

What are Friends For?
New girl in town Amy begins an awkward friendship with eccentric neighbor Michelle Mudd, who like Amy is a child of divorce. “What are Friends For?” makes the list for one scene, which was shot and edited like something out of a horror movie. The first time it aired, it made a whole generation of kids jump back from their TVs at the same time.

Did I miss your favorite? Let me know!

Casting is critical to the success of any television series, but sometimes it just goes wrong. In some cases the culprit is simply bad acting, but usually there’s a disconnect between actor and character that cannot be traversed regardless of talent.

Here are five of the most egregious examples. I avoided recasts, like Dick Sargent in Bewitched or Emma Samms in Dynasty, because replacements always start out at a disadvantage. In these cases there are no such easy answers.

Kate Jackson – Scarecrow and Mrs. King

In both The Rookies and Charlie’s Angels, Kate Jackson played clever, capable professionals. She had a famous falling out with the latter series, mainly attributed to the quality of the writing. Jackson once said a Charlie’s Angels script was so light, if you dropped it from the ceiling it would take a week to get to the floor. And yet her next series, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, was just as formulaic, and this time she wasn’t even the smart one. As Amanda King, Jackson frequently had to play scenes that made her character seem as dense as Chrissy Snow on Three’s Company. It was an awkward fit for an actress that radiates intelligence.

Lyle Waggoner – Wonder Woman

You would think playing a valiant military man would be easy for someone who held his own with the comedic geniuses of The Carol Burnett Show. But Lyle Waggoner could do nothing with Col. Steve Trevor. Admittedly it was a thankless role, but this is where it is incumbent on the actor to find something in the character or situation to elevate Trevor beyond his status as a dashing hostage. Even a little romantic chemistry with Lynda Carter would have helped the audience understand what Wonder Woman sees in this guy.

Lesley Ann Warren – Mission Impossible

Mission: Impossible was a pretty right-wing series. That’s not a criticism, just an observation. How else can we assess a show about federal government operatives who covertly invade foreign countries and overthrow corrupt dictators? What they did could be considered justified and perhaps even noble, but it certainly wouldn’t be supported by the counterculture at the height of the Vietnam War era. So how does one explain adding Lesley Ann Warren to the IM Force, since she looked and acted like a hippie chick just back from an anti-war sit-in at Berkeley? It’s not surprising she lasted only one season.

Ted Knight – Too Close for Comfort

Was it just that the shadow of Ted Baxter was too long to escape? Or did the role of a family man frustrated by modern life not fit with an outsized personality like Ted Knight’s? Either way, Too Close for Comfort never gelled. Knight is not the only reason it hasn’t aged well, but with hindsight it may have been better to cast someone with less classic TV baggage.

Doris Roberts – Remington Steele

Some actors have a look or persona that pigeonholes them into certain types of roles. For Doris Roberts, it’s the interfering relative, usually a mother or mother-in-law. It’s been her meal ticket for more than 25 years, from Angie to Everybody Loves Raymond. But it’s not the type of character you expect to turn up in Remington Steele, a self-effacing but still slick and stylish detective series. Roberts’ Mildred Krebs was a constant distraction from the urbane romance between Pierce Brosnan as Steele and Stephanie Zimbalist as his partner in crime-solving. The mistake was introducing the character in the first place, but it was compounded by casting an actress who once again did it her way, even if another approach might have worked better.

Any more that I missed? Which TV actors did you think never settled comfortably into a particular role?

Another Spider-Man movie opens next month, and as a one-time comic book collector I should be excited. But after four previous Spider-Man films, not to mention three Iron Mans and two Thors and three Batmans and an Avengers and god knows how many X-Men, even this former fanboy is finding it hard to get enthusiastic over another costumed blockbuster.

But back in 1977, there was nothing so awesome as the prospect of a live-action Spider-Man television series. Maybe Cheryl Ladd in that striped bikini on “Angels in Paradise,” but Spidey was a close second.

There had already been shows inspired by Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman, but the Marvel Comics universe had been largely untapped outside of Saturday morning cartoons. Spider-Man, Marvel’s most popular character, had inspired a pretty good animated series with a classic theme song, and helped a few kids learn to read on PBS’s The Electric Company, but that was it.

The Amazing Spider-Man (1977) starred Nicholas Hammond as Peter Parker. If you know his comic book origin you are apparently one up on the folks who made the pilot movie – just about all the details were changed beyond the radioactive spider bite. This was common practice at the time – loyalty to source material was not a priority, especially if it was just a comic book. These days, it’s that very respect for the original character creators and stories that have made films like The Avengers and Captain America: The Winter Soliderso successful.

The movie performed well enough for CBS to green-light a series, but only a handful of episodes were made, that were then shuffled erratically into the network schedule over the next two years, destroying almost any chance for the show to build an audience.

Besides the origin story and the scheduling, here’s what else they got wrong. Spider-Man is as beloved for his snappy patter as his superheroics – but in this series he never says a word under the mask. That’s a large chunk of character that never showed up. None of the hero’s famous rogues make an appearance – no Goblins, no Dr. Octopus, Vulture, Electro, Sandman – just the usual assortment of thieves, kidnappers and corrupt government officials.

The supporting cast was a mix of new characters and two that came from the comics, Daily Bugle publisher J. Jonah Jameson and Peter’s Aunt May. Ellen Bry was a nice addition as Peter’s photographer rival Julie Masters, but fans certainly would have preferred an appearance from Gwen Stacy or Mary Jane Watson.

So, yes, in many ways a terrible show. But my enduring affection stems from what was done right. That list starts with a good-looking costume, even if it didn’t quite match the perfection of John Wesley Shipp’s outfit as The Flash. The wall-crawling sequences were a triumph of special effects and stunt work, and the web-shooting, while primitive by today’s standards, got the point across.

I also enjoyed seeing Nicholas Hammond as a likable, heroic character, since he spent most of his career playing smarmy jerks. It was Hammond who canceled a date with Marcia Brady after she was rendered less than perfect by an errant football; he was also a crooked cop who tried to rub out Nancy Drew on The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries, the judgmental father who tried to separate Selina McGee from her baby daughter in Family, a self-involved Bradford houseguest in Eight is Enough…and the list goes on. If it weren’t for Spider-Man and The Sound of Music, Hammond would probably still be dodging tomatoes hurled by classic TV fans.

The show had one other delight for me, and that was the guest appearance of JoAnna Cameron in the two-part episode “The Deadly Dust.” Seeing Spider-Man and Isis in the same show was nerd nirvana then, and is still a lot of fun now.

No DVDs yet on this series, which is surprising given the number of Spider-Man films released over the past decade. But if you still have your VCR hooked up, many of the episodes are available on videocassette. That may indeed be the perfect way to view a 1970s relic that has been surpassed by superior versions, but is not without its charms.

If you’re under 40, you probably believe The Simpsons is the most sophisticated and hilarious animated series ever created. If you are over 40, that distinction still belongs to The Bullwinkle Show, aka Rocky and His Friends, aka Rocky & Bullwinkle.The attention to show titles may have been as haphazard as the quality of the animation, but satire and silliness have rarely coexisted so brilliantly as they did in the adventures of one plucky squirrel and one dimwitted moose.

The series didn’t get much attention when it debuted in 1959, the same year as Bonanza, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis and The Twilight Zone. It was animated, which meant it was just a kid’s show, and it was syndicated, suggesting it probably wasn’t good enough for the networks. But like Star Trek it found its audience after being canceled, and remained a television staple for the next four decades.

Created by Jay Ward and Bill Scott (Scott also provided Bullwinkle’s voice), Rocky and His Friends would raise bad puns to an art form and turn obscure historical and political references into punch lines long before Dennis Miller anchored Weekend Update.

The creators assembled an all-star writing team of guys used to being the smartest person in every room they entered – Chris Hayward, Chris Jenkins, George Atkins, Al Burns, Lloyd Turner – and they wrote jokes more for themselves than the kids in the audience. How many 7 year-olds would laugh when Boris Badenov’s boss, Fearless Leader, was described as “Pottsylvania’s answer to Bernard Baruch?” But the parents were laughing.

When I interviewed Jay Ward’s daughter Ramona, she told me her father always believed that “children need to come forward, and the show should not talk down to them.”

Wossamatta U

You can watch any of the serial-style adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and understand what made the show so unique and so special. But the story of Wossamatta U best exemplifies the series’ perfect blend of sophistication, silliness and social commentary.

The tale begins when the regents of financially-strapped Wossamatta University vote to increase revenues by “recruiting the best football team money can buy.”

“How will we pay for it?” asks one administrator.

“How else?” replies his colleague, “We’ll fire a few English teachers.”

Bullwinkle is recruited and given the standard course load for a football player on scholarship, which includes a class in crochet and reading Dick and Jane at the Seashore. When the coach tells quarterback Bullwinkle, “Let’s see you throw one,” Bullwinkle replies, “Throw a game already? I haven’t even practiced yet!”

Boris and Natasha turn up, of course, with plans to clean up by gambling on Wossamotta games. When the money starts rolling in from the football program, the professors make plans to buy new books and lab equipment, but instead the funds are spent on an indoor baseball diamond and a new home for the football coach.

For the final game of the season, between Wossamotta and Boris’s team, the Mud City Manglers, Boris borrows his game plan from the Civil War. He is then accosted by a representative from the “League of Confederate Corrections,” who insists the Civil War be referred to as “The War Between the States.” Rocky and Bullwinkle take on the absurdities of political correctness, decades before the term was even coined.

After paying homage to the writers I should also mention the enormous contributions made to these shorts by William Conrad’s intense narration (“When our last episode was switched off in utter disgust by 37 million viewers…”) and June Foray, who voiced both Rocky and Natasha.

Here are 5 other classic moments from the Jay Ward canon.

1. A Promo Generates Public Outrage

At the end of one program, Bullwinkle told the kids of America to pull the knobs off their TV sets, so they couldn’t change channels “and that way we’ll be sure to be with you next week.” The following week, Bullwinkle had to tell the 20,000 kids who did so to glue the knobs back on.

2. Fractured Fairy Tales: Sleeping Beauty-land

This series added satiric twists to famous bedtime stories. When they tackled Sleeping Beauty, a handsome prince (who happens to look a lot like Walt Disney) has second thoughts about waking his true love with a kiss. Instead, he turns her into the main attraction at the Sleeping Beauty-land theme park. “Disney loved it,” said Mrs. Ward.

3. Moosylvania

In this remarkably clever and insightful send-up of government bureaucracy, Bullwinkle campaigns for Moosylvania statehood. When the government declares the region a disaster area, it offers to provide assistance. The first airlift consists of helium, maple syrup and bubblegum.

4. Peabody and Sherman: William Shakespeare

The puns and wordplay in the Peabody shorts were hard to top. When the WABAC machine brings Sherman and Peabody to Stratford-on-Avon, they find Sir Francis Bacon accusing Shakespeare of stealing his plays. When he clobbers Will with a flower pot, Shakespeare angrily yells, “Bacon! You’ll fry for this!”

5. The Lawsuit That Wasn’t

Durward Kirby, a popular 1950s television personality, threatened to sue Jay Ward over a story in which Rocky and Bullwinkle search for a hat known as the “Kerward Derby.” Ward responded in the press by saying, “Oh, that would be wonderful. Sue us fast because we need the publicity.” That was the end of the lawsuit.

I started this piece by splitting the generations between those who love Bullwinkle and those who love The Simpsons. Of course it’s possible to love them both; Simpsonscreator Matt Groening certainly does. Homer Simpson’s middle initial, J, is a tribute to Jay Ward.

Ok, let’s just have some fun this week.

Among the many calamities for which the Internet is responsible (identity theft,Justin Bieber’s career, the death of responsible journalism), it has also pretty much killed the trivia contest.

And yes, I do recognize the irony of trashing the Internet on my blog.

Trivia contests used to be fun. There was a genuine sense of accomplishment if you knew the answers, and if you didn’t know a question it would bother you for the rest of the day. Now, of course, you can type the question into any search engine and 130,000 websites will pop up to provide the correct answer.

But let’s try it anyway, and I’m trusting all of you to stay on the honor system. Below are 50 names. Your challenge is simply to figure out, as Jerry Seinfeld would say, “Who arrrrrre these people?” They could be actors, they might be characters, or they may have some other Comfort TV connection.

For those who resist the temptation to Google, the answers will be posted next week.

If you’d like, leave your score in the comments – let’s see if anyone gets them all.

1. Henry Bemis

2. Frances Lawrence

3. Grady Byrd

4. Cyndi Grecco

5. Willie Armitage

6. Sonia Manzano

7. Wilbur Post

8. Victoria Winters

9. Lance White

10. Jerrica Benton

11. Roswell Rogers

12. Dorothy Ramsey

13. Miguelito Loveless

14. Gertrude Berg

15. Roy Hinkley

16. Lonnie Burr

17. Gloria Brancusi

18. Frank Nelson

19. Carol Merrill

20. Noodles Romanoff

21. Janet Louise Johnson

22. Charles Lane

23. Vicki Lawson

24. Don Fedderson

25. Arnold Ziffel

26. Tara King

27. Earl J. Waggedorn

28. Fran Allison

29. Cliff Murdock

30. Vic Mizzy

31. Whitney Blake

32. Harvey Klinger

33. Edith Keeler

34. Norville Rogers

35. Noel Neill

36. Byron Glick

37. Pandora Spocks

38. Mike Fink

39. Sarah Purcell

40. Sol Saks

41. Andrea Thomas

42. Dick Tufeld

43. Agnes Nixon

44. Roosevelt Franklin

45. Alexandra Cabot

46. Bruno Martelli

47. Bess Myerson

48. John Drake

49. April Dancer

50. Lucas McCain

Well, how did everyone do? Let’s find out:

1. Henry Bemis

The bespectacled character played by Burgess Meredith in the classic Twilight Zone episode “Time Enough at Last.”

2. Frances Lawrence

You may know her better as Gidget, played by Sally Field.

3. Grady Byrd

One of the lawmen who substituted for Rosco P. Coltrane during actor James Best’s brief boycott of The Dukes of Hazzard. Grady was portrayed by TV stalwart Dick Sargent.

4. Cyndi Grecco

Sang the theme song to Laverne & Shirley, “Making Our Dreams Come True.” The song peaked at #25 in 1976.

5. Willie Armitage

The muscle of the IM Force for all 7 seasons of Mission: Impossible, played by Peter Lupus.

6. Sonia Manzano

The actress who has portrayed Maria on Sesame Street for what seems like forever.

7. Wilbur Post

The owner of Mr. Ed (played by Alan Young)

8. Victoria Winters

The quintessential gothic heroine of Dark Shadows, played by Alexandra Moltke.

9. Lance White

Dashing but incompetent detective, played by Tom Selleck on several episodes of The Rockford Files.

10. Jerrica Benton

The civilian identity of cartoon rock star Jem (soon to be a major motion picture)

11. Roswell Rogers

Prolific television writer who penned more than 100 episodes of Father Knows Best.

12. Dorothy Ramsey

You probably know her as Tootie (Kim Fields) on The Facts of Life.

13. Miguelito Loveless

The diminutive but brilliant arch-enemy of James West and Artemus Gordon on The Wild, Wild West. He was played by Michael Dunn.

14. Gertrude Berg

Television pioneer who wrote, produced and starred in The Goldbergs, one of television’s first situation comedies.

15. Roy Hinkley

On Gilligan’s Island, they just called him The Professor. He was played by Russell Johnson.

16. Lonnie Burr

One of the most popular of the original Mouseketeers on The Mickey Mouse Club.

17. Gloria Brancusi

The nurse played by Christopher Norris on Trapper John, MD, who had one of TV’s more memorable nicknames – “Ripples.”

18. Frank Nelson

Comedic character actor who was constantly befuddling Jack Benny on Benny’s weekly variety show. Best known for his exaggerated “Yeeeeeeesssss?”

19. Carol Merrill

The prize presenter behind all those boxes and curtains on the original Let’s Make a Deal.

20. Noodles Romanoff

The enemy of Roger Ramjet on the classic cartoon series.

21. Janet Louise Johnson

The actress who replaced Pamela Sue Martin as Nancy Drew on the last few episodes of The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries.

22. Charles Lane

Veteran character actor who specialized in crotchety old men, most notably as Homer Bedloe on Petticoat Junction.

23. Vicki Lawson

The name of the little girl robot on Small Wonder.

24. Don Fedderson

The creator of such television classics as Family Affair and My Three Sons.

25. Arnold Ziffel

The pig on Green Acres.

26. Tara King

She took over as John Steed’s new partner on The Avengers, after the departure of Emma Peel (Diana Rigg). She was played by Linda Thorson.

27. Earl J. Waggedorn

Precocious kid who befriended Julia’s son Corey on the groundbreaking Diahann Carroll series. Played by Michael Link, he was always referred to by his full name, even by his mother.

28. Fran Allison

She was the Fran in Kukla, Fran and Ollie.

29. Cliff Murdock

Played by Tom Poston and better known as “The Peeper,” he was an old friend of Bob Hartley on The Bob Newhart Show.

30. Vic Mizzy

He wrote the memorable theme songs to The Addams Family and Green Acres, among others.

31. Whitney Blake

Several answers were acceptable here- she was the costar of the sitcom Hazel, she co-created the series One Day at a Time, and she was the mother of TV star Meredith Baxter.

32. Harvey Klinger

The insect-loving first crush of Marcia Brady on The Brady Bunch.

33. Edith Keeler

The woman who stole Captain Kirk’s heart in the classic Star Trek episode “City on the Edge of Forever.” She was played by Joan Colllins.

34. Norville Rogers

AKA Shaggy on Scooby-Doo, Where are You?

35. Noel Neill

Played Lois Lane on The Adventures of Superman, starring George Reeves.

36. Byron Glick

Over-eager hotel house detective played by Don Adams on The Bill Dana Show. The character was the inspiration for Adams’ creation of Maxwell Smart on Get Smart.

37. Pandora Spocks

This was how Elizabeth Montgomery was billed in the closing credits of Bewitched when she played Samantha’s cousin, Serena.

38. Mike Fink

Rival of The King of the Wild Frontier, Davy Crockett, on the classic Walt Disney series starring Fess Parker.

39. Sarah Purcell

Cohost of Real People, one of the first forays into reality television (1979-1984)

40. Sol Saks

The creator of Bewitched.

41. Andrea Thomas

High school science teacher, played by JoAnna Cameron, whose mystic amulet transformed her into the mighty Isis.

42. Dick Tufeld

He performed the voice for the robot on Lost in Space.

43. Agnes Nixon

The soap opera pioneer who created both All My Children and One Life to Live.

44. Roosevelt Franklin

One of the original Sesame Street muppets, and an early victim of political correctness (after he was deemed “too ethnic”).

45. Alexandra Cabot

Skunk-haired nemesis of Josie James and her band on Josie and the Pussycats.

46. Bruno Martelli

The brilliant pianist played by Lee Curreri on Fame.

47. Bess Myerson

A one-time Miss America and a staple of 1950s panel games shows, most notably I’ve Got a Secret.

48. John Drake

The spy played by Patrick McGoohan on Danger Man. Some fans believe he continued to play Drake on his next series, The Prisoner.

49. April Dancer

She was The Girl from U.N.C.L.E., played by Stefanie Powers, later of Hart to Hart fame.

50. Lucas McCain

The name of Chuck Connors’ fast-shooting character on The Rifleman.

(Dis)Comfort TV #4: The 7 Most Intimidating Classic TV Characters

The Pact That Produced Comfort TV

Terrible Shows I Like: Tabitha

The Top Two-Show Stars of the Comfort TV Era

“First the Barrymores, and now the Bradys” The Real Live Brady Bunch

Kings, Clowns and Christmas

Different Eras, Same Careers: Farrah Fawcett and Marilyn Monroe

Comfort TV Shows Turning 50

The Twilight Zone: Wisdom From Willoughby

When Love Still Kept Them Together: The Captain & Tennille's Variety Show

Oscar Winning Stars of the Small Screen

The Biggest Bozo in Chicago

Revisiting Enterprise, 10 Years Later

From the Batcave to the Brady House: The California Comfort TV Tour

Mom’s Drunk, Dad Left, and the Homecoming Queen is Pregnant: The ABC Afterschool Specials

When Actors and Roles Don't Mix

Terrible Shows I Like: The Amazing Spider-Man (1977)

The Subversive Genius of Rocky and Bullwinkle

The Comfort TV Trivia Quiz

The Comfort TV Trivia Quiz: The Answers Revealed